Divorce Mediation - Mediation and Beyond

Divorce Mediation in Connecticut

Divorce doesn't come with a roadmap. So I built one.

When a marriage ends, the fear isn't just about paperwork. It's about your children, your home, your future, and whether any of it will be okay. That's the moment I built this practice for: a calm, structured path that keeps the people who matter most at the center of every decision. With deep experience in mediation and the lived experience of divorce myself, I understand what you're facing from every angle. When you're ready, I'm here.

What is mediation

Divorce changes the structure of a family. Mediation decides whether the new structure works.

Colleen O'Neil  ·  Divorce Mediator

The faster, less expensive, and far less damaging alternative to the courtroom.

Divorce mediation is a private, out-of-court alternative to litigation. You and your spouse make the decisions about parenting, finances, property, and support, with a neutral mediator guiding the conversation. Unlike litigation, the outcome remains in your hands.

I'm a non-attorney divorce mediator based in Connecticut, trained at Quinnipiac University School of Law's Center on Dispute Resolution, with nearly a decade as a therapist and nearly a decade as an educator before that.

A mediator doesn't make decisions for you. Instead, I help facilitate productive conversations, clarify priorities, identify common ground, and guide both parties toward practical agreements they can stand behind.

Because those agreements are built together rather than imposed by a court, mediation is often faster, more cost-effective, and far less stressful for families than going to trial.

Mediation with me
Litigation in court
$1,500–$6,000 per person $3,000–$12,000 combined for both spouses
$15,000–$50,000 per person high-conflict cases may exceed $100,000 combined
2 to 4 months
1 to 3 years sometimes longer
You and your spouse decide
A judge decides within limits
Lower conflict keeps tension down and protects what matters after
Built for advocacy which can escalate conflict
Private your sessions stay confidential (the divorce itself is still filed with the court)
Public court proceedings on the record
Option to consult an attorney to review the agreement
Attorney-driven from the start

Not sure if mediation is right for your situation?

Take the Divorce Readiness Quiz
Who you are working with

You need more than someone who knows the legal landscape. You need someone who understands people.

When you're facing one of the most difficult transitions of your life, that difference is everything. Plenty of professionals know the legal process. Far fewer understand what it costs the people moving through it.

Before becoming a mediator, I spent nearly a decade as a therapist and, before that, nearly a decade as an educator. That background shapes how I approach this work, what I pay attention to, and how I stay with people through what feels impossible to navigate.

I've also been through divorce myself. I know what it's like on the other side of the table.

I work with couples at every stage and in every configuration — with children, without, and everything in between. What brings people to me is rarely the same twice, but the need for a structured, steady hand always is.

Conversations about finances bring up fear. Parenting decisions surface grief, anger, and patterns neither person expected to see again. This is where things stall, and everything can feel unpredictable. My background lets me hold things steady and keep both people moving toward a resolution they helped shape.

The way I work is consistent: strategic rather than reactive, turning conflict into productive conversation, and staying out of the courtroom wherever possible. The goal isn't simply to reach an agreement. It's to build a foundation for the next chapter.

That's the philosophy behind this practice, and the reason I founded Future Family Lab.

Book your first conversation
Who this is for

Mediation works for couples who are done, or close to it.

Not done fighting, necessarily. Done dragging it out. You don't have to like each other. You don't have to agree on everything yet. You just have to be willing to sit at the same table, literally or virtually, and engage honestly.

When mediation may fit
  • You want to protect your children from a drawn-out fight
  • You'd rather spend your money on your future than on attorneys' fees
  • You want your conversations kept private and out of the courtroom
  • You want a durable agreement, one that lasts because you both built it
  • You're ending a long marriage, and "splitting everything evenly" needs to actually work for two different retirements
When mediation may not fit

There's abuse or coercive control. There's a serious power imbalance one party won't acknowledge, or a spouse who won't participate honestly. If you're not sure whether mediation is safe or right for your situation, reach out before booking and we'll figure that out first.

Not sure where you stand? The Divorce Readiness Quiz takes three minutes and gives you a clearer picture.

Book your first conversation

Not ready yet? Take the Divorce Readiness Quiz.

In Their Words

Calmer conversations. Fairer outcomes.

The core decisions

Every divorce involves the same core decisions. We work through each of them at the pace your situation requires.

Parenting Plan Custody schedule, holidays, decision-making, school, healthcare
Child Support Worked through using Connecticut's child support guidelines
Spousal Support If relevant, how much and for how long
Family Home Sell, refinance, buyout, who lives there during and after
Family Financials Bank accounts, investments, retirement accounts, debts
Personal Property The practical division that often surprises people with how charged it gets
Tax Questions Flagged early so you can check them with a tax professional before you decide

Anything else that matters to your circumstances belongs on the table too. The agreement is yours.

How we meet

We meet in whatever format works best for you.

Meetings are typically 90 minutes. Most couples complete the full process in 4 to 8 meetings across 2 to 4 months, depending on complexity. Some finish faster. Some need a little longer. You set the pace.

Virtual or in-person  ·  90-minute meetings  ·  4 to 8 meetings typical  ·  2 to 4 months

Together

Both spouses in the same room or video call, working through issues directly. The most common and most efficient format.

Separately

Shuttle mediation — I meet with each of you alone and carry the conversation between you. Useful when direct communication is too heated, or when one party needs space to reach their own position.

A mix of both

Most mediations use both at different points. The right structure emerges from what's actually working.

How payment works

No retainer. Pay as you go. Billed hourly.

You don't write a large check up front. You pay for the time you use, after each meeting, and if mediation isn't working or your circumstances change, you simply stop — no lingering bill, no fight over an unused retainer.

This is one of the largest financial differences between mediation and litigation. With an attorney, you typically pay a $5,000 to $10,000 retainer on day one and replenish it as it depletes. With mediation, your costs accumulate slowly and visibly, and you control the pace.

We'll discuss the hourly rate on that first call.

Litigation bills you to fight. Mediation bills you to finish.

Most litigated divorces cost more than the most expensive mediation — and that difference doesn't buy a better outcome. It buys a longer fight.

What happens after the first conversation

Two paths forward. Both work.

1

Begin now

If you're ready, we book your first meeting before we hang up.

2

Take your time

If you'd rather decide later, alone, or after talking with your spouse, reach out when you're ready. No pressure.

Then, either way — sign the engagement letter

The next step is the same and it's simple: each spouse signs the engagement letter separately. You don't have to be in the same room or on the same schedule. Send it back by email or bring it to your first meeting.

Your first meeting

Virtual or in-person, whichever feels right.

From there, future meetings can stay in one format or mix both, depending on what's working. No paperwork to navigate alone, no legal language to decode, just a clear next step, and someone keeping the thread.

What you walk away with

The decisions made. Everyone captured in writing. The next chapter already taking shape.

You leave with a detailed Memorandum of Understanding covering everything you worked through: parenting, finances, property, and support. It becomes the foundation for your final agreement and court filing. Many clients have it reviewed by their own attorney or a financial professional before finalizing. That choice is yours. From there, you have options for finalizing and filing.

The strength of a mediated agreement is simple: it's built by the two people who actually have to live with it. Agreements both people helped build tend to hold up over time.

We pressure-test your agreement against real life before you sign.

Book your first conversation
Wherever you are in this, there's a path

Mediation isn't the only way I can help.

A Second Set of Eyes

Strategic support when you already have an attorney and want a steady place to think through the strategy and the decisions.

Learn more

Future Family Lab

For families managing what comes after, when the terms aren't holding or the household dynamic has shifted.

Learn more